


Coffee & Coming Home

by spacekidwithapen



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Small Town, Getting Back Together, M/M, Phan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 19:19:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14503758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacekidwithapen/pseuds/spacekidwithapen
Summary: I wasn't aware how quickly years of someone's life could be practically erased from time until I looked Dan Howell in the eyes in that coffee shop and realized he wasn't looking back at me.-Or the one in which Dan and Phil meet in a one-off chance in a coffee shop after years of pretending not to know each other, and forget why they ever split.





	Coffee & Coming Home

I wasn’t aware how quickly years of someone’s life could suddenly be practically erased from time until I looked Dan Howell in the eyes at that coffee shop and realized he wasn't looking back at me. See, I’d spent the last three years of my life trying to forget about him, distract myself from the thought of him, remove the memories we’d made. Save for a couple of dents in the wall, I thought he’d been erased from my story. I was wrong.

He was looking down into his coffee, using it to warm his hands the same way he always did when I used to make it for him. I was willing to bet that coffee he was hunched over had milk and two sugars, but only cream if he hadn't had breakfast yet. I was also willing to bet he hadn’t had breakfast yet either since it was 6:30 am and he looked like he’d either not slept or just woke up. 

I was scared to talk to him, of course, I was, but I was also scared not to. Scared that his presence was some sort of gift that I was about to throw away. Either that or a sign that the one night stands were reaching the point of pathetic now.

I figured I looked a bit odd, standing in the doorway staring at the oblivious boy, and that I should think about saying something soon. Or ordering my coffee.  
I put my hood up to look up at the menu while I thought over what to say, if anything at all. Whether he would even want to see me or not, I didn’t know. After all, I had tried my absolute hardest to forget he ever existed. I wouldn’t exactly welcome someone with open arms if they’d done that to me.

I glanced briefly behind me to see his eyes only half open, his head resting on his hands. I’d seen the sight so many times, and it never stopped being interesting to me. Even our very last morning spent together, he’d had the same weary look on his face. Just this time was with slightly darker circles beneath his eyes.

‘You haven’t changed in the slightest,’ was how I decided to greet him, trying to keep my smile looking /too/ infatuated. I had never been good at hiding my emotions. 

He looked around deliriously, before gazing up, straight into my eyes. His naturally soft brown eyes got even softer. I didn’t know if he was just glassy-eyed from a lack of sleep, or he was actually about to get emotional. Either way, he looked like he needed a hug. Not that I was going to give him one.

‘Ph-Phil?’ He gasped, his mouth forming a little ‘o’ shape. I hadn’t really anticipated any outcome other than him being unhappy to see me, so I was a little surprised to see the appearance of his dimples once again.

‘Dan.’ I echoed back, feeling a little dizzy at the giddy feeling of finally seeing him again. Not only that but in real life. I’d forbidden myself from even looking at pictures of him, trying and failing to forget what he looked like. The fact that he was actually there in front of me led me to believe I might’ve been dreaming.

‘I haven’t heard my name in that voice in forever.’ He practically whispered, looking more doe-eyed by the minute. 

What he didn’t know was that I’d said his name plenty of times since we’d split. Not only moping to my friends about him but also all the times I’d forgotten he’d even gone, greeting him good morning only to find he wasn’t there to hear it. ‘Likewise' I said dryly, failing to tell him anything in my head. He didn’t need to know the details.

‘How- How’ve you been?’ He asked with his emotions hidden away just enough so that I wondered what he was thinking. I could’ve sworn he was doing it on purpose before I remembered how engrossed I’d been with him and his thoughts 24/7 when he was in my presence. That was when we were together, though.

'How does it look like I've been?' I raised an eyebrow. 'I'm in a coffee shop at the crack of dawn with bags under my eyes. You?'

'Guess we're in the same boat.' He chuckled darkly. He averted his eyes again, back to his coffee and I quickly wished he would look back up again so I could see his face properly. I had a lot of lost time to make up for.

'I've missed you.' I admitted, my tone lowering. I wasn’t sure whether I hoped he heard it or not. I looked down at my fidgety fingers scowling, consequently meaning I missed his reaction.

'I've missed you too.' He replied. I still didn’t look at him.

'Listen, I know I've been coming here all week, but this coffee's kind of crap. Do you want to go for a walk?’ He asked, glancing down at the offending cup of supposedly low quality coffee.

‘I’d like that.’ I nodded, trying not to smile too manically. ‘I still have your favorite coffee I used to make you, as well.’

‘But you don’t like that coffee?’ He pointed out, looking up at me curiously. He looked a bit more energetic now, likely now that we were outside.

'I know.' I smiled, drifting out the door to feel the chilly sea breeze and pulling the sides of my jacket that little bit closer together to shield myself from the inevitable bite of frost I'd always felt worse in the Autumn since moving here. ‘Felt like a waste to throw it out.’

'Walk with me?' I asked, holding out a hand to him. I don't think he even noticed I'd anticipated the movement, because he'd already taken it on his own. I ran my thumb across his skin lightly, looking down. His hands hadn’t changed either. He had little chips of black adorned over his nails, telling me he still painted them from time to time, and his hands were just as soft as before. Did this boy not age?

It wasn't until I looked over at him that I fully took the situation into account. We were holding hands, and he wasn't running for his life. In fact, he was leaning into my side slightly as if we'd never been separated. It was literally just like old times, only we would’ve still been fast asleep at this time.

The walk was silent but comfortable. He seemed to be preoccupied, scowling down at the pavement, occasionally glancing towards our hands. He was interesting to look at, to say the least.

'Why are you in this dump, anyway?' I asked, glancing at the drab looking beach. Well, what I could see of it. Most of it was covered in fog. It was hardly the coastal holiday town all the leaflets made it out to be, especially on a sad autumn morning like today.

'Everyone was annoying me.' He shrugged. 'Wouldn't let me be sad in peace.'

'I know the feeling.' I mumbled.

'And you?' He looked up and raised an eyebrow, before stopping to sit on the seawall. I joined him, ignoring how jagged the stones were. 

'I live here.' I answered, 'Don't ask why.'

'Why?' He grinned, a dimple popping out on his cheek. I grinned back, failing to stay serious. I shoved him with my shoulder lightly, using the action as an excuse to pull him closer.

'Ever heard of pathetic fallacy?' I asked, knowing that was a crappy answer and not finding it in me to care. He didn't seem to have an answer for this, at least not a verbal one. Just a slightly sympathetic, knowing look and a brush of the hands.

'Where's this coffee you were telling me about?'

-

Like an elastic band, although we drifted apart all those years ago, we snapped back together ten times harder in the form of a wool blanket, a fireplace, and two cups of coffee.

'God, what happened to us?' He sighed, letting his eyes fall shut. He looked exhausted even though it was only 5 pm, and I had to wonder if he'd slept at all. What with the fatigue painted under his eyes and in his dreary movements. Maybe it was the warmth of the fire.

'I ask myself that every day.' I admitted. It was true; there had been no climatic break-up, we hardly even fought. I was still in love with Dan and he was still in love with me, but we became less and less of those people every day. We changed for the worse.

'I see you found yourself again.' I said, brushing a stray curl from his face so as to see more of him. I swear I could’ve looked at him forever.

'You found me.' He corrected, still not opening his eyes.

'I don't think it's a coincidence, us meeting.’ I mused.

'There's your superstitious side coming out.' He laughed. 'Do you know how many new shoes I've put on the table since you haven't been there to tackle me every time I do?'

'Dan!' I exclaimed, cringing at the thought.

'You goofball.' He chuckled, leaning impossibly closer, before taking on a serious look, so much so that it made me forget how the person across from me might have bad luck or all of eternity. His eyes still had that half-lidded look to them that made him look so much more lustful.

'I love you. I still love you. Never stopped, actually.' He mumbled, setting down his half-empty coffee next to mine, and moving so close that I could see nothing else but him, and that was the way I liked it.

Just as I was about to say it back, he leaned forward so that I couldn’t see him anymore. I couldn’t see him, but feel him. More specifically, his very familiar lips. It didn’t feel like a spark or even a firework. No, it was nicer than that. It tasted like coffee and it felt like coming home.

**Author's Note:**

> Something I wrote when I was feeling the foggy weather and appreciating living in a seaside town. Tysm for reading guys.


End file.
